“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” 
~ Dalai Lama XIV

Word. 

dis·ap·point

ˌdisəˈpoint/

verb

past tense: disappointed; past participle: disappointed

1. fail to fulfill the hopes or expectations of (someone).

   "I have no wish to disappoint everyone by postponing the visit"

   synonyms:

   let down, fail, dissatisfy, dash someone's hopes; More

   antonyms:

   please, satisfy

   • prevent (hopes or expectations) from being realized.

     "to disappoint the hopes that are now awakened could be very dangerous"

     synonyms:

     thwart, frustrate, foil, dash, put a damper on;  informalthrow cold water on "his hopes were disappointed"

     antonyms:

     fulfill

Origin

late Middle English (in the sense ‘deprive of an office or position’): from Old French desappointer. 

I hate feeling disappointed.  As children we face disappointments and we may get upset, angry, frustrated.  We take them in stride and they, well most, are soon forgotten.  As an adult disappointments can be harder to deal with.  As I get older I find that I would much rather be enraged than disappointed.  Anger eventually dissipates and your cooler head prevails allowing you to get over it and move on.  Disappointment can eat away at you.  Let's face it, the world is full of disappointment.  We may feel disappointed at family, friends, co-workers, companies, politicians, or just the jerk that doesn't stop to clean up after his dog or the moron who cuts you off in traffic.  As a human that lives with depression I find that disappointment is hard to deal with.  At my core I believe that the world is a good place and that humans are, for the most part, good. Then the world disappoints me and people do things that make me question the idea that we are good.  Disappointment is something that creeps into my brain and limits my ability to have a positive outlook on the world and the people in it.  

I am always looking for advice on how to deal with everything life throws at me. I did a bit of Googling about disappointment and how to deal with it.  Bless the internet.  I found this information on one site and it resonated with me.  1.  Let it out.  2.  Get some perspective.  3.  Know our own heart.  4.  Practice acceptance.  Thank you, tiny buddha.  http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-steps-to-deal-with-disappointment/

I hope I can let go of a disappointment that happened today.  I want to believe that everything happens for a reason.  I want to gain perspective and try acceptance.  Baby steps.  

LT   

A heavy load

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." Lena Horne

2013? Already? Really??

Drat, another year has blown past and I only blogged once! Yay, me! I guess because I use Facebook...multiple times every damn day...I lose the initiative to blog about stuff I have already gotten out of my system! I think it is the immediacy of communication with people on FB that draws me in. So many of my friends are very active on FB that I can have conversations in "real time" with people all over the world! Perfect for a "people person" like me! 

So, how did 2012 go for me? Well, it was definitely a year of highs and lows. I watched all of my kiddos excel at school and in their activities and I lost a friend to cancer. I loved that my folks were enjoying their retirement in paradise for half of the year and missed them desperately when they were gone. I was proud of the decisions, morals and values my kids displayed and had to explain to them that there are some in this world who do not possess these same merits. I made new friends in our new home province and ached for those I left behind. 

It seems that I, like so many, remember and lament the lows more than the highs and this year I want to focus more on the highs. I have accepted that here are shitty people in the world and that is never going to change. The challenge is to not let them get in my head space and affect my mood and feelings. This means I have cut ties with some and will choose to not engage with others that I can't avoid. My mental health depends on this!

So, a few highlights from 2012:

~My first born turned 18, graduated from high school and made the honour roll! 

~He did a work placement this summer arranged by Autism N.S. and made huge strides in his communication skills. 

~He started college and is kicking butt there!

~He joined a social group for young people with Asperger's. 

~He is a delightful, funny, sarcastic, brilliant young man with a very bright future ahead of him!

~My second born turned 17 and is in his graduating year of high school!

~He has a new attitude towards school this year and is completely kicking ass in his courses...I always knew he could. ;) 

~He has found a course of study that he wants to pursue after high school...phew! 

~He has grown into a funny, verbose, charming, young man who is much taller than his Mom!! 

~He is going to be amazing in anything he chooses to do. :)

 

~The girl turned 15 and started high school after a very successful year in junior high. 

~She has entered the IB program and is enjoying the challenge! 

~She has developed a love of drama and Improv!

~She had a very successful year of dance on her competitive team and in highland dance. 

~The dance highlights were: qualifying as a N.S. provincial representative which earned her a trip to Canadians in Edmonton, AB; and her third consecutive nomination to the Sadie Simpson scholarships held in Miami, FL! 

~She got to do lots of travelling for dance...with chauffeur Mom at the helm!

~She was fortunate to bond with so many wonderful school and dance teachers.  

~Solos are ready and champ steps are started for another year of dance!

~Little man turned 10 and headed to grade 5 french immersion.

~He has great marks especially in Math, his strongest subject!

~He found a best friend. :) 

~He made an effort to learn to play the bagpipes, hehe. 

~He joined Mom and sis on an epic road trip exploring some of the eastern U.S. and then a fun week at the cottage with Grandma and Grandpa! 

~After deciding the bagpipes were a bit too difficult right now he agreed, grudgingly, to go back to highland dance.

~He jumped back into dance remembering the steps quickly and continues to improve!

~The hubby continued to excel at his job and with his new team. 

~He did some travelling for work visiting the U.S. several times.

~He continued his 5x per week workouts.

~He enjoyed lots of time with his boys over the summer while the girls toured!

~He turned 44 and couldn't believe I had stuck around for 21 years, haha! 

~He enjoyed eating as much seafood as possible!

  

As for me:

~I joined a volunteer highland dance organization.

~I cried tears of joy at many a dance competition!

~I made some lovely new dance friends.  

~I beamed with pride at my kids' academic achievements!

~I celebrated my 43rd year on this planet and 21 years of marriage! 

~I did not kill my husband and hide the body! 

~I got to do lots of travelling around North America.

~I survived my first (and last) cruise. 

~I made a group of hilarious, like-minded friends on FB who keep me sane! 

~I was able to spend some time with my Grandma who is now 92 years young! 

~I enjoyed time with both my parents which is a blessing.

So my to-do list for this year is:

~Try to control my road rage...not an easy thing to do here!

~Volunteer more.

~Spend more time with friends and family.

~Stay better in touch with distant friends.

~Have more "half-full" days. 

~Focus on keeping my body and mind healthy...baby steps. 

~Invite less drama into my life. 

~Check my damn Crackberry every night so I don't miss appointments. D'oh!

I wish all of my friends, whether virtual, near or far, a wonderful year. I hope it will be a year of more highs than lows. A year of love, friendship, peace and joy. 

~Laura :)  

Fresh start

Fresh Start

I knew you would be too busy

to see the colors of the morning sun,

so I got up early and caught them for you,

so you could see how the day had begun.

And now I give you this new beginning,

a clean slate, this morning sky,

to use when you need a fresh start:

another chance, another try.

Because we all need a do-over

every now and again

when hindsight shows us where we are,

where we could be, and where we've been.

Take a deep breath

and start anew,

with glowing colors and light.

Spread your efforts across the sky.

Share them with those

who flee the night.

Thank you to my beautiful friend Daisy for this wonderful and inspirational poem, just what you need to get you through the dreary that is January!! New year, new start. Here's to a wonderful 2012 for my divine family and friends.

xoxo